Pinterest Manners

Minding your Pinterest Manners

Pinterest is currently the hottest and fastest growing social media site of 2012. It is refreshingly different from all other social networking sites, in that Pinterest is a beacon of simplicity where individuals “pin” (bookmark) their favorite things – recipes, photos, craft ideas, art, etc. – onto pin-boards and create an organized collage of sorts. It is different because it is a gathering of your own personal interests. Yet, it is similar to other social media sites since you can follow each other and collect creative ideas and inspiration.

Of course, where there is social interaction, there are certain etiquette guidelines that should be considered:

• Hold the ego. Pinterest is not about bragging, showing off, or self-promoting. Pinterest is about personal interests and inspiration. The other social networking sites give you plenty of opportunity to promote your business, awards, promotions, etc.
• Be considerate. Each person’s pin-board is designed to reflect their own personal interests. Therefore, there should be no criticisms of another’s thoughts, hopes and dreams. Connect with people who are like-minded and share the same interests that you do, or search for new interests and ideas.
• Properly credit your sources. When you pin someone’s photos, recipes, artwork, etc., be sure to properly credit the “original” source. They deserve credit for their magnum opus. Sending them a message and letting them know you pinned them would be an added bonus.

According to http://pinterest.com/about/, it is Pinterest’s mission to: “…connect everyone in the world through the ‘things’ they find interesting. We think that a favorite book, toy, or recipe can reveal a common link between two people. With millions of new pins added every week, Pinterest is connecting people all over the world based on shared tastes and interests.”

Pinterest has a marketplace feel to it – it is a place where you see people and ideas and places and products alike – it is refreshing, open and welcoming. Check it out and enjoy!

A Dream Come True

I am still in a quasi trance from the July 2010 news that my book Everyday Etiquette was going to be published by St. Martin’s Press. My mind haunted me with crazy thoughts like, “They picked me by mistake. I was dreaming it all or worse… I was being pranked.”

I vacillated back and forth between euphoria and nauseous fear that I would wake up from the dream. St. Martin’s Press shared with me that the contract arrives later than a slow boat from China and they weren’t kidding. The offer was verbally given to me in July and the contract didn’t arrived until October.

I loomed by my mailbox for the first month. After that, I just watched from the window for almost two more months. When the contract finally arrived, I was out of town speaking in Chicago. So my husband called with the news, “The contract is here!!” and I said, “Do you really think they meant to send it to me?” I could hear his eye balls rolling through the phone. I read and re-read the contract especially the section with my name and title of the book. Maybe there was another Patricia Rossi that was an Etiquette Coach with a book titled Everyday Etiquette?

It wasn’t a dream at all. The offer, the contract, and the book were indeed real.

September 13th, 2011, Everyday Etiquette launched and sold out on Amazon the first day. Within a few weeks a 2nd printing was already on the press. Shortly after Christmas I received an unexpected holiday gift from my publishers: Everyday Etiquette went into it’s 3rd printing in just 16 weeks!!!

So, thank you dear family and loyal friends that supported this project from day one and also to the thousands of new friends coast to coast and abroad who made Everyday Etiquette a part of their book collection. I still sometimes wake up in the night, go into my office and pick up the book just to make sure it is really real.

Thank you all for making my dreams come true.

Here’s my secret to how I got my book published.

Click here to read about it.

Beware Of Experts

The second I hear an Expert…

I immediately start sniffing for the nearest escape hatch.

INTERNALLY: I’m in a fight or flight stance ready to launch.

EXTERNALLY: I hold a steady gaze while turning their voice and verbiage into Charlie Brown’s teacher — Wa Wa Wa Wa…

So thank you Experts for this coping pattern given to me at the tender age of 10, where I was tested and told about my gift. I was a carrier. The diagnosis of my ‘gift’ wasn’t well received and caused fear, ridicule, and confusion in my pre-Oprah 1970′s working class community.

Another event at age of 10 presented itself to me without warning; the untimely death of my mother. So, here I am trying to balance the news of my gift (that the experts forecasted) would never let me process information in a normal manner and no ‘Mama Duck’ to give me the most basic of survival and thriving skills while I navigated the pond.

As I treaded water; I would try my best to learn from the other ‘Mama Ducks’ and their families. I would approach them at times to be included, to learn, and hopefully grow and graduate myself to the big pond. However, many rejected me; one even telling me that they might catch my gift of dyslexia.

A few… an amazing, beautiful and vital few did give me a peek in… as what to do and I made it out of the little pond. So I latched on to the vital FEW.. and my journey continued. I had the good fortune to find a tutor that taught me how to tame the letters and numbers that gyrated,danced and jumped across the page every time I gazed upon it.

Those early rejections and learning to live with Dyslexia gave me wings I would not have normally sprouted and those wings lifted me up and out to the mecca pond of life where the BIG experts dwelled.

With my pencils sharpened and sitting in the front row of life the experts had one message for me and shared it with me time and time again.

They said Patricia, “You talk too much” and I felt ashamed. But I kept on talking. The Experts would put big red gooey X’s on my report card that highlighted my excessive talking. There it was! Not just in verbal form but in written form as well.  Whew! Did I feel shame. But I kept on talking.

The Experts were right about one thing. They shared with me once, “Patricia you can’t sing — you don’t have a singing voice” and you know what? They were 100% right! Even Experts aren’t wrong all the time. So I guess I will just keep talking!

In my present life, I talk on television, I talk on the radio, I talk in magazine and newspapers. I speak to large audiences, business professionals, professional athletes, and everyday moms and dads. I recently just talked 65,000 words into a book that was published by St. Martins press, that just went into it’s 3rd printing in 16 weeks — another thing the Experts said was impossible.

I teach people how to build, maintain, and grow social and business relationships by being at ease in any and all situations they might find themselves in.  From the big pond to the small pond our interactions either propel us ahead or hold us back. Whether you are a Rhodes scholar a Mensa member or a little duck trying to make it out of a small pond; your social skills if intact will take you to places unimagined.

Please click here to peek at what it took to write, pitch, and launch the book.

A Word That Holds Magic

There is a word that holds magic under it’s wings. It isn’t please or thank you, although those two words are so very valuable. The word we overlook, forget, and don’t listen to when told to us, is the sweetest word in the world to people.

So we must be careful not to have our way with it…and take liberties with it…that we have no business taking.

So here are a few SHORT guidelines to honoring others by using their name the right way.

1. We should never shorten or make a nickname out of someone’s name. The reason we usually throw a nickname on someone is that we hope it will endear us to them, give them a special feeling – a closeness that maybe others don’t have with them. Nicknames rarely work and most people don’t care for them. As much as I preach and teach this truth, I am guilty of doing this myself. I did this with a person who was an educator at my child’s school. The first time I used the nickname it was funny but every time I used it after her jaw would clinch and slide slightly to the left. Even so, I continued with that nickname. It felt kind of like pressing for an elevator when you know it’s already passed your floor. She finally told me she didn’t care for it and I thought to myself – knucklehead!!! – you know better. So nicknames are out for me. I will continue to listen closely when someone shares their name and use it, even if it has 13 syllables.
2. Never say “I forgot your name.” Because none of us wakes up in the morning with the the thought – Whew! I sure hope I am forgotten today. Listen when someone shares their name.
3. Never say “I can’t remember your name.” We all want to be memorable, so listen when someone shares their name. It is gift to the person, a treasure a person carries with them from birth to death so treat it with honor, value and respect.

How to Remember Names

Name Game: 9 Simple tips for how to remember names

In my hmmm hmmm years of living on this earth, I have never met one living soul that didn’t like to hear their name.

If you want to impress someone, bypass the diatribes about your oxford degree, surviving 30 days at sea on a raft made of shark skin, or how you won that contest in college eating the most hotdogs. Make an instant impact, the fastest and simplest way, by remembering and voicing their name.

But….what if you can’t remember the name of the person you’re speaking with?

Whatever you do, never say “I forgot your name,” or “I can’t remember your name.” Those kinds of statements will just make the other person feel unimportant, and forgotten.

Instead, say something like, “Your name is right on the tip of my tongue,” or “It’s been such a long day, could you tell me your name again?”

Of course, you’ll make an even better impression if you can remember the person’s name in the first place. Try these 9 simple techniques to help remember names:

1. Listen. Really listen when someone is telling you his or her name. Sometimes instead of listening, we’re thinking about what to say next. Don’t do this. Listen to the person’s name and say it out loud as soon as possible, “It’s so nice to meet you, Tammy.”
2. Repeat. After meeting someone new, say the person’s name a few times to imprint it in your memory. Use it while speaking to the person, but not so frequently that it feels awkward.
3. Nickname. Give the person a nickname that helps you remember them (Tall Tammy, for example). If you use this technique, make sure you don’t say the nickname out loud, keep it to yourself!
4. Write it down. Write down names and identifying information (or enter them in your Blackberry, iPhone, iPad, etc.). After you meet someone and go your separate ways, write down the person’s name, where you met them, and something that will remind you of what you discussed. This is especially helpful at networking events.
5. Spell it. If a person has an unusual name or the name has more than one spelling, ask them how they spell it. If a name is generally spelled only one way, like Robert or David, you could ask if they prefer Bob or Dave. Always ask before shorting another person’s name. Don’t assign them a nickname.
6. Become an artist. When someone tells you their name, spell it a few times (to yourself of course.) Picture it written out as you spell it. Or pretend that you are painting their name across the sky or drawing it on their forehead in black sharpie-for a visual reminder.
7. Change focus. Sometimes we forget someone’s name because we are feeling socially self-conscious. Our focus is on whether we look, speak, or are acting in an acceptable manner. Turn your focus to the other person and on putting them at ease, then it will be much easier to recall their name.
8. Reintroduce yourself. If you see someone you haven’t seen in a long time, reintroduce yourself. This may prompt them to tell you their name as well.
9. You’re brilliant! When someone remembers your name and you just cannot remember theirs, you can say, “Wow, you have an amazing memory! Sometimes I can’t even remember my own kid’s names.” They will most likely enjoy your compliment and sense of humor.

If you have trouble remembering names, use these simple tricks to help names stick. Use them to make a bigger impact by calling others by name and making others feel as special as they are!

Demystifying LinkedIn and Making it Work for You

Demystifying LinkedIn and Making it Work for You 

LinkedIn is a social network used by many professionals. In fact, it has become a must-join site for any professional who wants to keep up with current technology. Therefore, it is important to create a strong profile on your LinkedIn account and maintain proper social networking etiquette to maximize your overall online identity. The goal is to share your accomplishments and aspirations with your circle of like-minded friends and acquaintances and then ask them to share your profile with their friends and acquaintances.

Here are ten do’s and don’ts for maintaining proper LinkedIn etiquette.

• Do use LinkedIn to connect with like-minded businesses. – Start by connecting with people who you have previously done business with and professionals in the same industry as your own.
• Do create an engaging profile. – Keep in mind this is like an online resume. Use your profile to highlight specific accomplishments that you are most proud of.
• Do choose a professional looking and current profile picture. – Using an old picture when you were 10 years younger and 20 lbs lighter may prompt some awkward looks when you meet face-to-face for an interview or network event. Paying a photographer to take professional pictures of you may be worth the expense since your profile picture is the first thing people notice on your LinkedIn page.
• Do use your status updates to congratulate others. – This is considered doing “small goods”. It is a good rule of thumb to congratulate others on their success just as much or more than you promote your own.
• Do write recommendations for people that ask you to (if you find them credible). – You can honor them by saying how they have impacted you personally or professionally. This is a way of showing your appreciation in written form for others to see.
• Do not expect LinkedIn to transform your business. – Keep in mind that networking is a two way street. If you would like someone to recommend your work, it’s important to maintain a personal connection with them through phone calls and personal meetings. LinkedIn is more of an online marketing tool than a guaranteed sales generator.
• Do not post a summary in the third person. – You don’t want it to sound as if you are being introduced by the Queen of England. Your goal is to build relationships, so write a first person narrative as if you are having a conversation with someone. Make it interesting and check your grammar and spelling.
• Do not add status updates that lead people to a product. – That would be synonymous with driving your car into a networking event – and announcing when you exit the vehicle – “Who wants to buy this amazing car?”
• Do not automatically link your Twitter account to your LinkedIn profile – especially if you are a frequent tweeter. Status updates on LinkedIn should be professional and positive information about your life. They should include business events you have attended and projects you are working on. Blurbs about your wild and wacky weekend plans or recent disappointment in who got eliminated on The X Factor are not LinkedIn material.
• Do not post false or misleading information or work experience. – Although you want to look your best in your profile, sharing false information will make you less credible in the eyes of individuals who know or find out your information is bogus.

Following these simple guidelines when using LinkedIn will help you fearlessly navigate the waters of this professional social network and use it to your greatest advantage.

Wishing you much happiness and success!

Patricia Rossi, America’s Business Etiquette and Protocol Coach, www.patriciarossi.com

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