Whether it’s a chicken barbeque at your child’s school, or a formal charity event, the autumn and winter months are filled with fundraisers of all kinds. Just showing up doesn’t necessarily do anyone any favors. Present yourself respectfully, compassionately, and tactfully with these four fundraiser etiquette tips.

Make An Appearance: Your calendar and checking account aren’t limitless, so you likely won’t be able to attend every event you’re invited to; however, once you’ve accepted an invitation or have told others you plan to be there, you should go. A “yes” that later turns out to be a “no” wastes time, money, and energy for a cause or organization that doesn’t have the time, money or energy to waste. It can also embarrass those who were counting on you.

Make a Donation: While you may have purchased a ticket to attend a charity event, keep in mind that often times, that price goes towards the venue, food, decorations and prizes. Strongly consider making an additional donation. This is an absolute must if someone else bought the ticket for you.

Make a Good Impression: Even at casual charity events, it’s important that you remember to be on your best behavior by using everyday etiquette. Dress appropriately for the event. Follow the guidelines set in place. Listen attentively to any speakers. Use proper table manners when dining. Be kind to volunteers. Mingle with other guests and make conversation. Never make jokes at the fundraiser’s or cause’s expense.

Remember Where You Are: A charity event requires months of planning, mostly through volunteers. It is not a five-star restaurant. Do not send back food, make special requests, or complain to other guests or volunteers about food portions, uncomfortable chairs, rainy weather, or other unfortunate circumstances. Instead, focus on the reason you’re there and appreciate all that you have.